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Wondering who the hottest woman on the planet is? Well wonder no more my pathetic friends. The answer, of course, is Elisha Cuthbert.


From her days as Jack Bauer's daughter on "24" to her stupendously statutory appearance in "Old School," she captured my heart. What can I say? Gotta get 'em before the hair does, right? And when she starred as a ridiculously sexy porn star in the "The Girl Next Door," let's just say she captured other parts of my anatomy. From top to bottom and everything in between, Elisha Cuthbert is flat out perfect.

The three other jackasses who contribute to this site can have their Scarlett Johanssons, Angelie Jolies and all those other wannabes. The Viking can wax poetic from here to eternity about this generation's Marilyn Monroe, chicks who dig Nietzsche and all that crap. I'm slightly less cerebral and have no problem admitting my criteria consists of slightly less noble attributes. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a chick who's hot, crazy smart and decidedly cool. The problem is those women hang out with Bigfoot and ride unicorns. In other words, they don't exist. Fake I tell you, made up. Like the moon landing and every orgasm Zeke's girlfriends have ever claimed to have.

So for all of the obvious reasons, my dream girl is Elisha Cuthbert. And if you disagree, then you'll have to take it up with Jack Bauer. And I don't think you want that.






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    What's This About? Read On...

    Nothing good comes from drinking too much whiskey and beer. This blog is proof of that. Because this site is the result of four very lame, very pathetic friends who got drunk one night and started talking about which female celebrity represented the pinnacle of hotness. Zeke immediately came out with Jessica Biel. Now make no mistake, Jessica Biel is hot. But the absolute #1 most gorgeous female on the planet? The rest of us disagreed. Vehemently.

    What followed was several hours of bringing up different celebrities and arguing about whether or not they are hotter than Jessica Biel. And it wasn't just idle back and forth either, this shit got heated and personal. So much so that we felt this undeniably important discussion needed a more public forum so we could bring this burning question to the masses. Screw world peace or the financial crisis in America, we here at HTJB believe settling quandaries such as "Is Giselle Bundchen hotter than Jessica Biel" deserves our utmost attention.

    So now here we are. We're four very average, extremely idiotic guys in our 30s having intense debates regarding the physical attributes of women we will never meet. Some of us are married, some have kids, some are single. We're all gainfully employed. And each week one of us will choose a woman (celebrities only) and discuss if/why she ranks above or below Jessica on the Biel-o-Meter.

    We serve no purpose. We do not benefit society. We all consider ourselves lucky that any woman actually had sex with us at any given point in our lives. So sit back, take it all in and feel free to join in some mindless and superficial debate.

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